Chapter 5

Tool #2: All-in Marriage



A committed marriage is the key to a happy family, which is why loving your wife is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your children (and your children’s children).


“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Ephesians 5:25, ESV


“Learning how to be an “all-in” husband and father has brought stability and a peace to our family that I honestly did not think possible. But it did. And I am a much better man for it.”

Peter M., Washington, DC


The impact of divorce and fatherhood absence on children is devastating. You won’t read about it in the New York Times, but the statistics are overwhelmingly clear. Children from homes where the mom and dad are in a committed marriage, when compared to their less fortunate peers, are more than twice as likely to graduate from high school or college, hold down a steady job in adulthood, have a successful marriage themselves and live to a ripe old age.1 Children from broken homes are more than twice as likely to do drugs, go to jail, drop out of high school, suffer from mental illness, fail to hold down any job for more than a year, have babies out of wedlock, and die an early death than their more fortunate peers.


It’s no exaggeration to say that America is now being divided into two groups with huge disparities between the two in virtually every meaningful measure of happiness, contentment or social productivity. And the line that divides these two groups is not racial, ethnic, financial or linguistic; the line is their parental background. Which group do you want your kids to be in?


I’m sure you want the very best for your children. So let me just lay it out for you: One of the most important gifts you can give your children is to love your wife and be faithful to her. That’s what an All-in Marriage is all about. And that’s what I believe 99 percent of wives are looking for from their husbands.